opalesent:

I want 0 responsibilities and a lot of lingerie

(via piercingsandink)

bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(via forgave)

whorecrux-harry:

"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills

(Source: ruinmarks, via orgasm)

potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

(via orgasm)

lovesexzodiac:

The best gift for Aries are red sweaters, red silk underwear, red T-shirts, or red anything.

(Source: loveandzodiac, via theosborncursee)

genderedboy:

"Why do you want this job?"

Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.

(via forgave)

brianmalik:

if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away 

(via orgasm)